Looking for Harold and Kumar

I drove down to Jersey for a wedding last weekend. I was only there one day and the drive was about what I expected. I took a slightly longer route because I've always had traffic problems driving via NYC but I'm convinced I made it there in less time that it would have. Anyhow, it wasn't until after I arrived there that it occurred to me:

Hey! White Castle's is in New Jersey!

I looked them up when I first moved out to New England and was a bit disappointed that the nearest one was in New Jersey. I had since forgotten about it. Then I remembered after I got there. Durnit, I should have looked them up prior to my drive. Luckily I had MissyShow on the phone and she overcame her fears, phobias, and anxieties enough to go to her computer and look up directions for me. She rocked and found one less than 10 miles away. Oh my, it was 8pm and BSG came on at night. I high tailed it over and made it back in time to catch my show. (I know, nerd!)

So at long last. After 20 years I finally make it back to a bona fide White Castle restaurant to enjoy some freshly cooked sliders. Mmmmmm....

Shame the onion rings sucked. Didn't run into any pot sellers nor Neil Patrick Harris either.

Blizzard o' 2006

Two weekends ago I spent the weekend in Vermont skiing with some friends. I haven't skied in like 6 years and on top of that I'm probably 30 pounds heavier than the last time and grossly out of shape. I was beat. I come back from the weekend trip delayed thanks the recent Noreastern blizzard of 2006. Great. I'm all tired and sore and now I have to spend a few hours shoveling in the cold. It boggles my mind how when people are confronted with others who live in nicer weather they practically brag about the miserable cold and snow. I mean, I've met plenty of people that actually miss the snow (and the whole idea of seasons which I think is over-rated). I noticed that amongst other cold-weather dwellers, it is ok to complain a little about the freezing and the mess and extra work and delays and whatnot. But to anyone else, it's like a rite of passage; it makes them superior somehow. Can't complain too much or they'll think or will call you a pussy or something like that. What's up with that?

I admit the snow is very pretty and the experience is novel (for a while) but certainly is inconvenient to deal with on a day to day basis. And the cold just grates on me. It's more expensive to live in, requires more energy and attention and items to deal with, and slows down everything. Maybe it's a nostalgia thing for people who actually grew up in it, that excitement of getting to miss school due to weather conditions. For me, it should be kept in the mountains where it belongs. A nice thing and place to visit, but not live in.

An additional disadvantage is that I live on a cul-de-sac and there really isn't anywhere to put the snow. Everyone tries best they can to line the house walls with it, make little pathways, and make little castle walls of snowdrift to surround the cars and whatnot. Further, it is technically a private way and isn't plowed regularly by the city works. Occasionally they get to it and do a single plow, especially if someone on the block calls and orders it. One time, a plow shoved a rather large snowdrift into my parking spot. Thoroughly pissed me off. Wasted a Sunday afternoon shoveling it clear, though I'll admit I was quite proud of the little igloo-sans-roof I made for my car. But the street is narrow there's nowhere else to put what accumulates there so tends to ice over and stay that way for a long time.



Lucky for me, the blizzard wasn't as bad as other places on the east, only a 1.5 to 2 feet, and by and large I shouldn't really complain because this winter has been very mild (knock on wood). Actually I am quite pleased with this winter. On all accounts it's been great considering previous years. There's been very little snowfall and accumulation, especially compared to last year, and I don't think I used more than a couple cups of salt the whole of this winter so far. We've had many days where the temperature reached as high as 50 with mostly clear skies. Last year had record breaking snowfall. Here's a pic from a previous blizzard.



One of the things that sometimes gets to me is when it's too cold to snow. I mean, it goes well below freezing and with dry air to where even a minute outside and any exposed portion of my body starts to hurt, especially my hands which shrivel up painfully to where I can't make a fist and my ears just feel like they're going to snap off. I know there are other parts of the country where it's much worse. Those are the times I wonder why people live in such places.

Today I went out to watch a band called "Stars". I took the T there. I was commenting with a buddy how nice it was out (only because there was no wind-chill), but I didn't feel like I needed to wear gloves or a knit cap. It was about 35-38 degrees F. I marvel at the concept that I could call such a temperature "nice". Oh how things have changed.

Look into my eye

It's been at least 5 years since I've been to an optometrist. In the spirit of getting things done, I finally made an appointment to go. I had to delay a couple months until my health insurance, which switched yet again, stabilized. Luckily they had some eyecare benefits as part of the package. Ok, the real incentive for me to go was that I decided that I need to get some more contact lenses. I don't wear them often, more on that in a bit. I last wore contacts for my rafting trip back in August. When I finally dug them out I was a bit shocked. I had a bunch of unopened weeklies that had long since expired. (Yes, I wore them anyways and noted that I should go in for a renewal.) Since I have a ski trip coming up, I figured it was time to finally do it. And I did.

The Good

The doc measured the prescriptions on my old glasses and then measured my eyesight and asked me if my glasses gave me headaches. No, I wear them everyday for most of the day. He said my glasses were worse than my eyesight. Then he said my contacts (I brought a sample package in) were waaay off too. So, Either my eyes got better or my previous optometrist was incompetent. It was probably the former. A coworker speculated that eyeballs change shape a bit over time and when you're sight is good, then they can only get worse, but when your eyes are already not good, they can wiggle either way. I'd always assumed that they only get worse. I know one or two other people who've had a similar experience. But hey! Better eyesight than before! I'll take it!

The Bad

One advantage I've always had, and perhaps the reason for no headaches even with the wrong prescription, was that both my eyes were equally bad. They both had the same prescription powerwise. So I never had to pay attention to which contact lens went in which eye and I could even wear my glasses upside down and still see fine. I do have some astigmatism in one eye though. After the remeasurement, they're now slightly different so now I have to pay attention. Not terribly significant but a little "awwww" at the news. I guess there was something neatly in order in my mind knowing both eyes are the same.

The Interesting

The doc actually seemed quite proficient and professional. He told me something he noticed that no previous one had said before that seems to explain a lot about my history with my eyes and contacts. Without any prompting he mentioned to me that I probably experience constant dry eyes because the glands that line my lower lid that keep the eye moist are naturally clogged. He said it's completely genetic but there's little things I can do to deal with it. Wow! It all seemed to make sense. Dry eyes lead to discomfort and even infection in the extreme. I've always had problems with sensitive eyes. Always. Even something as simple as keeping my eyes open to snap a photo seemed to require extra effort frequently. I had more than usual difficulty inserting contacts, the bloody things wouldn't stick to my eye but rather my finger. I hardly ever wore contacts because of that and also because after so many hours they do get uncomfortable on me slightly and I end up consciously blinking a lot more; as in I'd notice them in my eyes rather than putting them in and forgetting about them. I'd always assumed that it was because I stare at a computer monitor for most of the day, every day. It also explains my tearducts seeming overactive occasionally, probably as compensation. Amazing interfacing with someone who actually knows what they're doing and talking about.

So armed with this new knowledge he gave me a set of contacts to put in and try out and sent me on my way. I've worn glasses so habitually that I think my image with them is burned into people's brains. I've gotten some amusing comments by at least 4 people upon seeing me with a naked face. One stuck two fingers in the air and asked me to count. Another asked if I could see him. A third asked me if I got Lasik. Even I unconsciously find myself reaching to straighten my glasses when I'm not wearing them. Well, I guess I'll try out those suggestions and as soon as my new set come in I guess I'll start wearing contacts more. I wonder how many people won't recognize me.

Update 2006-02:
Seems my perscription for one of my eyes was off and my new perscription has the same power in both eyes. I find that gratifying in some small way to know this. I will give the benefit of the doubt to the optometrist. The difference was only a quarter power, and there is always that possibility that I unconsciously squinted a bit when trying to read the eyechart when that eye was tested. Both my contacts and glasses had to be redone. Luckily he made me test a trial pair of contacts before placing my order. Sadly, even though both lenses have the same power I still have to pay attention as to which contact is left and right since these are more tuned, versus the ones I used to use. Makes a noticeable difference though and was worth getting fixed. Though it has taken me nearly a month to get my eye stuff in order and I still have another pair of glasses I need new lenses for. Ugh. Luckily my contacts arrived in the nick of time for my ski trip last weekend.

The year in preview

Towards the end of last year, which was a few days ago, I had a surge of inspiration and excitement. I had plans and goals. I had ideas and ambitions. I had objectives and hopes for completing them. Somehow, after returning east today, stepping off the plane, waiting a bit too long for my baggage, taking the public transportation home, ditching work because I was so tired, crashing until early-mid afternoon, eating canned soup for dinner, wasting the evening in front of the TV, and feeling more or less alone and isolated again; after all that, I have almost no sense whatsoever of what I had planned for this year. Oh I know the kinds of things I have itemized but at the moment I'm really just not feeling them. I have half a mind to just write the whole year off. I'm not feeling very optimistic.

My Star Trek Life

I've told a few people of this trend that I noticed (or imagined) some time in high school that I've been able to back-track to Jr. High and seems to continue forward to the present. The idea was that my years seem to follow the Star Trek movies in that every other movie was bad and every other was good. So I would have a relatively bad year followed by a relatively good year and so forth. Then the last "supposed to be good" Star Trek movie wasn't all that good. And my last "good" year prior to this most recent good year wasn't all that either. Well, I'm somewhere in my good year now (they don't necessary follow the calendar, but rather loosely around my age) and the seeds of despair that I felt today reminded me of a potentially approaching bad year. Now, I know all about self-fulfilling prophecies and I know that this analysis is mostly gibberish, so what I've been telling myself is to make the best of it all no matter the year. Besides, there are no more Star Trek movies... yet...

Groundhog Year

I told TheShadow the other day of my desire to make oh-six my groundhog year, in reference to one of my favorite movies which is one of a select few that I always seem to watch to completion whenever I happen to run into it playing for the millionth time on USA, TBS, TNT, etc. Predictably, he hadn't a clue what I meant by that. He said something like "what? you want to live the same year over and over?" I explained that in the movie during his repeated day, the protagonist went through phases. First he experimented with stuff, robbed banks, and otherwise exploited his condition for nefarious purposes. Then came the resignation, lack of purpose, and despair which lead to repeated suicides. Then came the climbing up from rock bottom where he took it upon himself to be kind, learn things, and take advantage of the infinite time he had. It's this last part I refer to in announcing my groundhog year. So little time and so much to do, learn, and enjoy; I need to be better at filling my time with those things I long sought but never had the gumption to pursue. I need to take better advantage of the predicament I put myself into living out here in relative isolation. I think in the end I was rather successful in some of those things when I first left family and friends to live in the Bay Area. That hasn't happened here yet and I need to make it so.

What that looks like is the traditional things involving health, fitness, organization, and focus, but also some more proactive things like resuming night classes, possibly joining a studio or club, and resisting the blahs that in the past have caused me to skip out on outings and opportunities when they were presented. I just wish vegetating wasn't so appealing to me as much as it is. Hopefully I'll find the proper balance. I do sense new ends and beginnings coming and that's often source of anxiety and fear. I think I can be zen enough to take it now. As for my recent pessimism, I can deal with that too and hopefully something will present itself to snap me out of it and get the year started as it should be. Then maybe I'll have more things to write about. Who knows, they may even be positive things.

I should also buy a copy of Groundhog Day since I do enjoy watching it.

Old year's resolutions

In coming months I will likely talk more about my flirtations with productivity pr0n, or more specifically my implementations of the GTD system. One of the tenets of the system is "the weekly review" whereby, obviously, you review your action items, progress, and whatnot for the week. I believe he even advocates a monthly review and greater. It is an old and great philosophy that I only seem to take up personally in the throws of abject depression. But from an academic standpoint it makes perfect sense to review one's status on a regular basis. Some kind of regular measurement is often necessary to determine if progress is made. I haven't really made any measurements but thanks to my handy pocket Moleskine I have made notes.

It's only after having made notes for the past year that I actually see, to put it inaccurately but succinctly, whether or not the past year was any better than the year before. This is with respect to goals and accomplishments and projects as well as any sense of personal satisfaction. Without the notes I could hardly remember anything I had done (often and particularly the good things) and always had a sense that I had nothing to show for myself for the previous year or 5. I still sort of feel that way now but at least I can now open up my notebook and have literal physical objective evidence that I don't have anything of worth to show for the past year or 5.

I do this now because this may be my last post of the year seeing as how I leave for winter vacation today and because I plan to re-spark my immediate goals upon returning; also because it's the holiday season and it's crunch time, both at work and at home, and I'm running out of time to complete the drafts I have in my Blogger queue. No rush on that though.

So on with it...

PROGRESS -- things that I think I made a few forward steps with

• Social life -- I lived much of the year in perpetual fear that I'd end up living my entire non-work life on my computer playing online role-playing games. Reason is that a good chunk of friends, the three that live closest to me and hence constituted the bulk of my meager social life, moved away. Another doesn't work with me anymore. This is a biennial occurrence. Every two years since moving coasts it seems half my friends move away. I always felt like I should have been one of the ones moving away. Surprisingly, I had a nice upswing in filling the void. I've latched myself onto a new group via refreshing an old connection, been going out more, been out there a bit more. In hindsight, it took me about 2 years to find my scene when I moved to the Bay Area and now not being a student I predicted that it would take twice as long. It's about that time now.
• Travel -- I made a couple of trips this year. Trips that I intended to do last year but my plans got shunted for family reasons. Made it back to the Bay Area for a good friend's wedding and reconnected with a few people. Also made it up to the northwest, Seattle and Oregon, to visit some family and friends I had long promised to see but could never find the time (or vacation days). Made my (quasi-regular) trip out to Europe again. Couldn't see everyone I wanted to due to time and money constraints but I had a BLAST. Had a great travel partner this time for part of my trip; I regrettably almost always have to travel alone. I don't mind it too much though, just means I target my trips on where I have friends. I made it home for Thanksgiving for the first time I can remember in many years as well. I also went river rafting for the first time.
• Organization -- I've been faithful to my Moleskine. I use it as my analog PDA. I shall post my use of it at some point. I'm kind of proud of my current system, took a lot of experimentation, but I'm mostly proud because I've stuck to it all year long.

SOME PROGRESS -- things that haven't truly progressed but have at least had fair activity so I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt and say "hey, at least I did something."

• Hobbies -- I managed to scrawl out a small collection of sketches this year. I've been wanting to get back into it for a long time. It started off horrid, but I gradually fell into comfort with it... for a while. Sadly, I haven't done much in recent months. I also touched my piano a few times. I should at least try and keep fresh the pathetically small repertoire that I know.
• Fitness -- At some point this year I lost about 12 pounds. I have since gained it all back. I had learned of and purchased some exercise information that I am excited about and I put it to use... during the summer that is. Now I'm back to my sloth ways, though not for long. It got started because I entered a 5k run with just about no training. It nearly killed me. I want to gear up for the next one next June. I also researched and implemented a fairly easy diet that I may write about later and was part of my successful weight loss. The diet went out the window after my Europe trip though.
• Reading -- I managed to at least penetrate my large stack of books in my reading queue. I have a nasty habit of buying more books even though I'm part way through some and haven't touched the others. I just can't seem to find a set time to go through them. Then again it's all a tradeoff with other uses of my time. I'm not a fast reader. Since getting an iPod nano, I have taken up listening to audiobooks though. Much more convenient.
  

REGRESS -- shame on me.

• Finance -- This worries me. I had foregone any financial discipline in exchange for having more of a social life and travel. I haven't updated my Quicken since last year. I haven't done any budgeting. I haven't even balanced my checkbook, trusting in the electronic statements instead. I have at least enacted a bit of siphoning away of a token amount for investing and retirement purposes, something that I should have been doing since my first job (oh the horror of what I missed).
• career development-- I've mostly been a cog in a wheel here. I had planned on beefing up on my field a bit more, refreshing my memory on certain topics, and learning the basics at least of some others. I should have been monitoring the latest papers and conference proceeds as well. I at least started getting through some material but I've just been lazy and unmotivated with it. I feel like I'm getting dumber.
• Home projects -- My place still hasn't been purged of much of the needless clutter. I have a lot of ideas and a lot of projects listed in my notebook. A lot of them still have none of the items checked off. The lists of things I had in mind are too innumerable to mention. Thanks to my new system, I don't feel quite as stressed about it though, because at least I have a fairly good idea of what I need to do and the steps I need to take.
  
• Vices -- Well, I made a couple half-hearted attempts at getting one or two under control. I promise to make a full blown attempt soon. ("But Screg! I'm on vacation!")
  

There are few more significant items missing, both good and bad and neutral, but that's the bulk of the items I have written down on the last page of my Moleskine. I mark a +/- on the individual things depending on the progress when I finish the book and copy them in to my next one. A lot of the year has been spiced, both good and bad, with other occurrences as well. Some of my friends know that I've been calling this year "the year of the J..." but I'll not go into that.

Overall, though, I would say that this has been a truly positive year. Among the things that are important to me is the fact that I had the opportunity, sometimes unexpectedly, to reconnect with some old friends, make some new ones, and deepen my connection with some and it has left a lasting positive impression that I hope continues. (cue violin music)

But for now, off to my much needed holiday vacation. Happy holidays to you, my faithful readers, and see you on the other side. (cue last call at the pub music)

This Halloween significance

It occurred to me tonight, this Halloween night, that this weekend marked a couple of things regarding this year. The significance is just a bit heightened by the bottle of Shiraz that I'm just now finishing. So please to being indulgent.

Saturday came the first day of snow in the Boston area this year. Damnation! Not even November and snow appears. Not just a few flakes, I was impressed that enough snow to accumulate came forth. It was soon vacated by the rain that came late in the night. But it serves to remind me of what I'd been hearing on the street for the past couple of weeks: It is going to be a long winter, longer than last. As if last winter wasn't bad enough, what with record breaking snowfall, all-time low temperature records, and a city-works plow that shoved a full drift of snow into my parking space. Boston, according to my Sandy Eggo sensibilities, has 3 seasons. This past year it has been 8 months of winter, ending in June; three months of summer, ending in August; and 2 months of autumn; which ended Saturday. Sort of. More on that in a bit.

There is no spring. Or, at most, it lasts about 1 week. The week where it oscillates between painfully cold and uncomfortably hot. They lied. 4 seasons my ass! But I don't really complain. Except in the winter. That's where I eat all of my words of the time I used to complain that the wonderful and sublime Bay Area had bad weather. Hey, I was from Sandy Eggo. It's all relative. I realized that for the past 4 years. I repent. Take me back there. Please. please.

Winter marks the entrance into hibernation here. Oh there is still activity, but, well, let me put it this way: I may never have gotten into MMORPG were it not for the winters here. There's a certain amount of effort required to intentionally be uncomfortable via going out when it actually hurts to be outside and it's icky and gloomy and the days are shorter and... well, I've been known to be a sunworshiper.

But to my credit I'm making the best of it. This year I all but swore that I would. A good bit of luck helps. I pulled another 3 nights of out-of-the-apartment shenanigans. I have a buddy that goes to the drum and base Thursday nights at the Phoenix Landing and despite all laziness I end up there, liquor up, and cut loose. Just a little though. (No, your opinion of me is still consistent.) Next night ChikiMiki informed me that The Love Makers were playing in Boston. He had introduced me to them and I was quite looking forward to seeing them. They play a kind of 80's style new wave, something I don't think many are doing. Sadly, due to a mis-communication in timing, we arrived as they were playing their last song. Bummer, especially knowing that we broke a couple laws in the attempt. We went to a club down the street where he knew some people would be at a private party. It was neat being in an area where everyone was dressed up in costume. We had to stop and buy some Jason masks just to not feel so guilty. Saturday, after it snowed (and believe me I was tempted already to just stay in and vegitate in front of the b00bt00b) I made my way to a Halloween party, the first one in years. I still think Halloween in San Francisco is the best, but it's great to see people out here getting together and having some fun for the event; I'd always had the impression that it just wasn't that big of a deal out here. Good ol' Deb was nice enough to post some pictures.

And tonight, as I came home tired and weary, I bump into one of my downstairs neighbors dressed in a quasi lady-bug outfit. I feel guilty that I hadn't yet fully helped her with her storm windows. But she's there with a friend carving a pumpkin on the porch. And it so happens that two neighbors from next door are doing the same. We all spend some time in front of my house, sipping wine, chatting about this and that, pulling passing-by-neighbors into conversation, inciting people to go out and scout some kids for us to give candy to, three bowls of candy. We had three customers total for the night, a disadvantage of location. Despite my complaints of the snow and the cold, tonight was exceptionally nice. Perhaps the last good-weathered night of the year. Perhaps. It dawns on me that I cannot for the life of me remember the last time that I waited candy in hand for trick-or-treaters to pass by. Especially with nice impromptu company. I appreciate that. I need to keep appreciating the little things like that. I think I do. I'm lucky this year. Compared to the last few years, I feel extremely so. I hope I'm due for a few more lucky years.

To round off the night I call a couple of friends. One is still at work on the best coast. The other is out and about with friends to watch a movie because her class was cancelled. I wish I could join them. Would be the perfect ending to a surprisingly spirited weekend, despite work kicking my ass.

Maybe someday.

But till then, a bottle of Shiraz signing off.

A very slight buzzing in my ear

Saw my first world class DJ tonight. I believe he's ranked #3 in Europe. My wacky buddy Chiki Miki alerted me to it, threw us on the guest list, and a group of us met to watch. It was a cool experience and something I now appreciate just a bit more. The only unfortunate aspect was that I'd gotten completely and utterly hammered each of the past two nights and I felt it best to ease up on the imbibing this time around. (There were other factors too.) Thing about trance/electronica is one must be in the proper state of mind to get the full effect. That is Chiki Miki's natural state, but I require a little warmup. Ok, the other annoyance was that it was raining fairly hard the entire night which doesn't improve the warmup experience when standing outside in line waiting to get in.

Still, it was a nice change of pace for a Friday for me. I'd been going to Psyforia with Chiki Miki when it's on and I'm around. I like the more intimate and casual setting of it. They host it on the Charles River at the most unlikely place every month. Very interesting contrast between the bar and the gathering area.

Note to self: I should really consider stocking up on ear-plugs for just such occasions. I value being able to hear.

Why?

Obligatory first post which I suppose is meant to justify the creation of this log.

Actually, I had thought about maintaining such a thing for the past 10 years whilst in grad school. I made a few meager attempts at it though those were more research logs. They never got maintained all that well but some of it's still around.

Truth is I didn't really see the point. I've even read articles to that end. Noone's ever going to read this so why bother? Then again, if noone's ever going to read this, then it doesn't hurt anything either. However, I do recognize that there are positive aspects to creating such things; things I won't really go into now because this time around I have peer pressure from friends jnet and gron who probably just wanted to have some friends that were doing what they were. Heh.

But the real answer to "why?" is an expression that I've heard a lot but most memorably (in the epiphany sense) at a cafe in Nuernberg by a waitperson when asking if I wanted a cappuccino: "why not?"